I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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