Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
