Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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