he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
