That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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