I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize