great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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