In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
