OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
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