Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
