we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
