The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have fence marks all over my body
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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