last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
