You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
His nipple licking is glorious
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