We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
