The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
