dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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