I'm really into asian looking animals
operation harelip BJ is a go
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
