The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
