Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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