Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize