new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i dont even know how to be here
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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