are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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