question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
