I'm eating all of the evidence.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
