so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
