TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
