hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
