we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
