Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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