I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
