All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize