What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Fuck me I smell like cheese
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
