OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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