The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
