My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
