Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize