First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
