Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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