It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
