Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
