I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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