I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
