i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I am midnight drunk by noon
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
