there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
