I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
