sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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