I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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