Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
