I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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