He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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