All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
