u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
