So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
you never un-have a 4some
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
