Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have fence marks all over my body
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
