bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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