do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
