Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
