Your favorite bartender is back from prision
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
