im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
