I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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