lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
