So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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