i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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