If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The chlamydia really affected his face.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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