Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
