There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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